In our more egalitarian world, it’s no longer an uncommon or unusual thing to see people having friends of the opposite sex. But can men and women be just friends, or is there always something more? For many, there is a belief that guys and girls can’t be just friends. However, on the other side, there are male and female best friends arguing against that. Which side has it right? Are friendships between genders real and legit or just an excuse to get close to someone you’re sexually attracted to?
The Answer? Yes. And No.
The first thing you’re likely to find when searching for the answer is a lot of contradictory information. So, to deal with that, we’ll start with a simple explanation. Can men and women just be friends? Yes and no. If you find that confusing, it’s because this is a very complicated topic, with no single answer that will fit everyone in the world. For some, there are safe and easy ways to be friends with someone of the opposite sex. For others, they’ll never see them as something other than a potential partner. Then there are those in the middle. Instead, we have to delve a little deeper.
How Men See Friends
Yes, there is a difference in how men make and see friendships compared to women. Knowing the differences can make it easier to have, or at least understand, friendships outside of your gender. Studies are showing that men, particularly young ones, tend to form friendships of convenience, rather than a deep, mutual understanding. To guys, friends are the people they enjoy hanging out with, not those who “get” them. Because of that, they’re more disposable and not as close as women would expect friends to be.
How Women See Friends
Women tend to view friends in a different light. A woman looks at friendship as something that you have to work on occasionally. Because of that work, they look for friends that understand them on an emotional level. This isn’t just a group of people that she enjoys going out with; friends are more likely to be those she has bonded with.
Different Types of Interaction
Because of these different views of friendship, the interactions between friends can vary, depending on one’s gender and personality. Some people (particularly young and desperate) view friendship as an “adult” friend finder (Is adult friend finder legit? Yes, and a better option than this). That can quickly sour a friendship. Instead, keeping it to normal, friendly things, such as going out for a drink, can make it easier for people to become friends without becoming bedmates. Either way, it’s not fair to scam others by offering friendship when all that you want is sex. Review your goals and avoid it at all costs. As mentioned, AdultFriendFinder is available for hookups.
Different Levels of Effort
As there are different levels of interaction, there are various levels of effort that people are willing to put into a friendship. Generally, guys fall short when it comes to this, at least in comparison to girls. That’s because, as mentioned above, friendship is all about convenience: A twenty-minute commute can kill friendship for some men. Women tend to put more effort into it and are more likely to reach out and try to preserve the relations. This difference can make it hard to be friends.
Because of the unequal amounts of efforts put into stereotypical versions of friendship, some find that they fall apart very easily. While a woman is likely to conduct reviews on her behavior and try to salvage something, guys are more likely to cut themselves free and move on. This can be hurtful to women and confusing to men. However, with adequate communication (something many young men despise), this can be avoided. The trick is to actually get the men to talk in the first place.
Many Still Want the “Benefits”
This seems to be true for everyone. Even for people who have valued friendships with someone of the opposite sex, getting physical isn’t off the table. Or the bed. Or the living room floor. In fact, many say that they would sleep with a friend of the opposite sex if given the opportunity. Quite a lot admit to having had sex with their best friend. So, it seems that sometimes there isn’t a surefire way to escape the desire to get frisky with someone you’re attracted to.
The attraction might not go away, but that doesn’t mean that friendship isn’t possible. Above, we provided you with the broad description that there wasn’t a single answer to fit everyone. That’s true. However, if both sides are willing to put effort and understanding into it, then friendship between a man and a woman can exist. There might be moments of sexual tension, but that doesn’t mean that the relations should suddenly become null and void. You simply have to move past it as adults do.